Motivation in Game
Motivation in game is a very important aspect often looked over in the community. When I speak of motivation I don’t mean the “I feel good today so I’m going to hit it hard” or “I’m in state so now I can take action.” In fact far from that, I mean having deeper reasons, goals, a vision, and a “why” that keeps you going in the game. A question I often get is “You’ve been in the game over 8 years, how do you still keep motivated to game regularly?” My answer will clearly be different than one of someone who just started in the game and is just getting his feet wet, or even perhaps different than those who’ve been in the game equally as long so I figured I’d share my personal “Why” with others as to provide a glimpse into my inner world.
When I first started in the game, my goals primarily involved getting better at approaching, expressing myself, leading, and figuring out the ins and outs or “micro skills” that would lead to me getting laid more frequently. Just as in things like soccer, boxing, investing, or any other skill set, there are important mindsets and sub skills to develop. For example in soccer, mindset may be playing to win, and working with the teammates unselfishly. While the sub skills of passing, shooting, trapping, heading, corner kicking, defending, etc are the most important to drill and work on to master the game. After getting very good at approaching, reading emotional states, vibing, connecting, leading, and closing the process often becomes somewhat streamlined in what may look like a systematic “generate leads, funnel, pull, close” mechanical type of process. It is important to realize that no one is above the process, and when you think you are above it the social matrix will correct you and remind you. People who get good are not the ones who are motivated by their feelings, excuses, or moral high ground of “quality” despite lack of basic level subskills/ mental shifts/ personality development and consistent results. “Could’ve played for Manchester United in the premier league and only play top tier teams” but can’t dribble, pass or beat middle school teams consistently is the best analogy I can think of for this particular cop out and mental trap of no accountability. The good get good by having a “why” and the discipline to execute no matter what “feelings” or “excuses” of the day come up in their mind and body. As Jocko Willink says “Discipline equals freedom.” Not feeling it? Good? Got rejected? Good? Another chance to get better and refresh, recalibrate, re-engage and go on the attack.
What will help keep your discipline on track is having “why” in game. That way you know the discipline and action you take is towards some goal with tangible results you can measure to see if you’re improving. Initially for me it was improving the subskills, mindsets, which would lead to me closing new girls regularly and developing myself to be someone girls would want to stay around longer (for girlfriends, regs, rotation LTRS) so I could enjoy the emotional and physical nourishment those relationships provide out of an authentic love for women (some in the game don’t even seem to like women and seem to do things due to past trauma in high school or to validate their own ego) while having the pleasure of same day / same night/ or date closes. This kept me motivated for years and I would write down weekly/monthly/yearly goals with challenges to keep myself disciplined, motivated by purpose, and accountable. Overtime with success and competence, goals should naturally shift. As time went on, my goals became more about dissolution of ego, exploring my shadow, and exploring spiritual connection in myself via the interpersonal dynamics with others. Each interaction became a vehicle of self-improvement, ego-dissolution, and exploration of the physical, emotional, and psychic energies that are sent and received in any given interaction between two unique people. Since a lot of the sub skills and mindsets had been cemented and ingrained I was then able to surf the waves of possibilities, enjoy the fully present zen-like moments in interactions with no expectations or desire to control, yet fully aware of the social matrix and how to move things forward for a potentially satisfying win-win connection for both me and the girl. Instead of viewing the game as work like I had for the period of working on subskills, it became a pleasure, a release of stress, a therapeutic practice of becoming fully present and surfing the waves of human potential through the unlimited fractals of emotions, spiritual energies, personal values and dreams, as well as physical pleasure of each unique person out of a genuine love for women and desire to understand and connect with them. Since situations and possibilities are endless and individuals are unique I don’t grow fatigue from the game unless my life is not balanced out in other areas (work, finance, exercise, intellectual pursuits, hobbies, socializing, family, etc). It is definitely important that you handle all areas of life and don’t become a game-robot through desensitization and unbalanced focus while the rest of your life falls apart and your vibe goes to shit. Game or relationships is merely one of the areas of life to handle and definitely a very very important one at that. So set goals, find your “Why” of this year in game, have a purpose, set challenges, execute with discipline, measure progress, and improve!
