I gave a seminar in early March with 16 bullet points about the common problems I see in a lot of guys learning pick up in Korea. A lot of the attendee’s requested a copy of the notes, so I decided to do a podcast as a companion to revisit the points covered in the seminar. Many of us come into pick up to learn how to meet beautiful women but get misguided, confused, or even “pick-up conditioned” in a way that leaves us less whole within and congruent in our behaviors. If you feel like your results are sub-par and you find yourself at the same level of progress year after year here spinning the wheels, this is the podcast for you!
1. Check List Mentality: Entering into human interactions with a robotic checklist mindset instead of exploring the interaction.
2.One-size-fits-all advice for different individuals:
Do this every time when each individual is different as well as the girl or situation
3. Viewing girls as sets not as human beings :
Not seeing women as people and doing sets as practice in a robotic way instead of humans you connect with.
4.Not introducing yourself because it’s “not alpha” “too formal”
Nope it’s what all normal humans do in social situations
5.Thinking about pick up too much, talking about it, arguing theories, reading about it too much is never good:
Gets you in your head and if anything only use theory as a reflection after a day or a date out
is better to think about your passions,talk about hobbies, and exciting future plans or things that make you feel good and excited not in your head. In addition keyboard Jockeys are not crushing it other than with bros 😉
6.Most techniques and tactics are taught from the mental frame that you are not enough
Also it is taught that for hotter girls you need to do more text more do more over-the-top stuff try-hard more when actually that’s coming from the wrong weak frame that you are not enough and also puts you into the effect not the cause of the interaction.
7.Judging girls on a scale as being higher or lower value than learning to view everyone as equals:
socialize without the pre judgments when you put girls on pedestals or belittle them actually hurt you from connecting and actually being successful
8. Guru worship mentality and Culty group-think
Identifying yourself with one system and thinking you have all the answers and that it’s always right instead of being open-minded trying and testing new things in-field and learning new views and perspectives
9.If you get blown out or she doesn’t text back,etc overthinking that it’s your fault:
Many of these things are outside of your control
Pick up teaches you to be self-absorbed and not empathetic to her situations or her life or what’s going on with her (ie boyfriend, bad day, etc)
10. Stressing yourself out that you need to do sets and approach all instead of just relaxing and being social:
Not being like the chicken with its head cut off running around approaching!
talking to girl in different way than you talk to friends.
11.Viewing it as pick up mode when you do night or day approaches and not as an extension of yourself being social creating opportunities:
Putting on a shtick and talking to girls in clowny way, an alter-ego, or chasing/fighting for rapport.
12. Not Taking yourself lighter and the interaction lighter:
Taking pressure off yourself and her
13. Too much focus on approach anxiety/routines/pick up processes
not enough focus on fear of being approached anxiety of the girl/awareness of her situation
Therefore lack of empathy, appreciation, and subtle attunement to her emotional state and rhythm she’s on.
14.Attraction is not what you do it’s who you are and how you express yourself
A man who has a healthy ecosystem in his life, pursues what he wants and makes plans to achieve that
also being presentable aka self respect grooming and clean fashion (no need to be overly fashionable, just to look new, look clean) .
15.You need to kino escalate on the D1 or D2 outside is a misconception:
You don’t need to escalate outside to build attraction.
You don’t have to talk about sexual topics or ask sexual questions before sex as all of this often reduces chances of going into isolation together. You don’t need to prove you are a man, you have a dick, she knows it
16. Judging other guys girls based on your standard:
Not going for what you’re into because of fear of judgement. Letting others dictate your pick up journey/goals/standards rather than making it an epic and personal one that satisfies you.
